Mason and Trevor’s thunder was roaring in our house one morning this past week. All I wanted to do was get ready for work in peace, as in, without a storm.
“Give ’em to me, Trevor!”
“NO, MASON!”
“THOSE ARE MINE!”
“NOOOOOooooo!”
Wham! BAM! Wailing! HOWLING!
My thoughts, as I look at myself in the mirror shaking my head back and forth, “Why!? Why!? Why can’t I get ready for work without separating the two of them!? Why?!” Then, I take a deep breath and think, “This could be it. This is a moment I can practice calming the situation. I could have a “Hero Moment,” as I call them. Hero Moments are those times one makes a difference in another’s life, whether giving advice, helping them out in some small way, or in this case, “Calming the Thunder.” I look at myself, take another deep breath, exhale slowly, and accept the challenge. (I also read books about how to calm and understand children’s behaviors.)
As I walk in Mason’s room, it is apparent the thunder has progressed to lightening strikes. Trevor’s swinging, and Mason’s swinging back and both are still howling and on the brink of tears. I calmly say, “Mason. Trevor. What’s going on here?” They both look at me. Mason says, “He has my books.” Trevor is tightly hugging two of Mason’s chapter books – albeit from 2 years ago, but they were still Mason’s, and he didn’t want Trevor having them.
I ask Mason to please step out of the room for a moment. As he walks out of the room, he’s shouting, “NO! Why should I?” I quietly follow him. He makes it to the living room where he turns to me and says, “That kid is such pig. He’s always stealing my things.” Mason is clearly upset. I gentley touch him, and he flinches away and crosses his arms over his chest and continues staring down the hallway at his room where Trevor is sitting.
I then calmly explain, “You do realize Trevor watches with admiration as you read. He wants to be like you.” — I watch as the stiff thunder seemingly melts from Mason’s muscles. — I continue, “That’s why he sits and looks at your chapter books, page-by-page and word-by-word. He can’t even read, but wants to enjoy reading as much as you do. You should be proud of that. That’s a big deal.” He begins smiling from ear-to-ear. I continue, “Yeah, let’s think about this a moment. The books he has are books you have already read and enjoyed, and you are now reading more advanced chapter books.”
Mason looks at me still smiling, “Mom, I’ll be right back.” He walks back to his room. I hear him telling Trevor, “Yeah, you can have this and this. I walk in and Mason is taking one book after the other off the shelves and quickly piling them up for an extremely happy Trevor. I almost panic, but still calmly say, “Um, Mason, would you mind if those books…you know…stay on your shelf for while longer? I don’t have anywhere to put them for Trevor yet.” Mason stops and stares at me for a moment in thought, “Sure, Mom.” I exhale. Didn’t even realize I was holding my breath.
He then, as quickly as he took them off the shelves, starts putting them back. Trevor gleefully left the room with three chapter books, not just two.
Trevor ‘reads’ the words he knows in the chapter books and spends about 15 minutes each sitting. It’s hysterical and cute to watch. I asked him during one of his sittings, “So, what’s the book about?” His response, “Mom, I can only read the words when people are not looking at me.”
Mason has found the beauty of being absorbed in the characters of a book, and he is one of the top readers in his class.